Tuesday, June 01, 2004

So many people have a much more challenging life than I do. I really don't want for much. Sure, I'd be happy to have more, but I have a home, a wonderful relationship. I know who I am, and have the right to be that person. I have the basic needs and then some. Life isn't bad.

So I feel guilty for being so grumpy. Work has been long and hard... but "hard" at this job is typing and listening to the radio, not miserable work, just tedious. It's wearing me down, but maybe that's because I expect too much.

And the mess in my house is at least 30% my own fault (a significant portion was there when I moved in, but I haven't done much to cure that in the past months) so I shouldn't really gripe about that.

My spinning wheel will probably be about two weeks - it's due into the warehouse next week, and then will take a few days to ship to me. So that's not bad - still coming in a week earlier than I thought I'd be getting it! I'm spending the weekend with a lovely friend and taking a class I'm lucky to be taking. I have more fiber and yarn than any one person could possibly need. I have a wonderful stepson who still likes me even though he's moving into his teen years. I have two amazing cats that are intuitive and loving. An exuberant and loving foster dog who's grown so much in his time with me.

And I want Oscar to have a wonderful life, so getting TWO calls about him in one weekend should be a good thing, right? Yes, someone else called.

I can't just beg GB to let me keep him. It's not what we agreed on to begin with, and I can't put him in the position of resenting me for making him keep the dog, or for feeling as though he's disappointed me for having to say no. That's not fair. I want the dog. I want him to stay with me, and I want GB to say "why don't we keep him?" but I can't ask that.

I'm feeling very tired and grumpy, and maybe I shouldn't post here for a few days, since I can't imagine anyone else wants to read my childish grumblings. They are childish, and I should know better.

Thoughts for the Day:
Wernher von Braun - “We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.”

Bertrand Russell - “Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.”


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