Tuesday, June 14, 2005

No Man Has Ever Been Shot While Vacuuming.

Of course, later, he couldn't do anymore because he was pinned down. "Kitty Amnesty" as Martha would say.

Later on there was a different kind of cuddle going on when Oscar, the 60 pound pitbull, tried to climb into the lap of his best friend Trevor, the 8 pound cat.

It didn't work. Notice the lack of joy and brotherhood on Trevor's face. The dog is okay.

Just for Vi, we also have pictures of snail nookie.

Something tells me we're going to be seeing a few more baby snails down the road (we already have 5). This is the farthest apart the snails got on Sunday, most of the day being one on top of the other, and when I leaned in, I would have sworn I heard Barry White bubbling up from the depths...

There, now is everyone distracted enough to forget that I made no mention of knitting?

I'm tired, and hungry, and cranky. And I could have sworn last night when I commented on that to my husband he said "I can tell" but when I shot him the evil glare of death, he said I misheard him and what he said was "I couldn't tell at all that you were feeling cranky, such a ray of sunshine you always are." Must be my ears, right?

This diet thing is a pain. No dairy, nothing pre-made because I can't tell if the salt in it is iodized or not, nothing from the sea, nothing canned, and no soy.

I've made several really nice loaves of bread this week, but other than that, things have been pretty boring and unsatisfying. Blech.

And I'm starting to have nightmares about the surgery, which isn't even scheduled yet (we'll find out Friday) and the nightmares are bad enough that it's harder to fall asleep, and my darling GB has developed this new method of breathing while he's alseep that sounds like he's about to snore, but is currently hyperventilating as preparation for that, but I only thought about smothering his head with a pillow for a few minutes before I got up and slept on the couch to remove the temptation of murder, justifiable though it may be.

Now, don't you wish I'd just talked about knitting??


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smothering isn't allowed. If I'm dead I can't buy you stuff or do the laundry.


3:09 PM  
Blogger Amie said...

... or pump my gas or change my oil (wait, you still haven't done that...)

Anyway, I got up. Your life wasn't seriously in danger (for long) I love you too much! (but just so you know, the cats would help if I ever changed my mind...)

3:14 PM  
Blogger snowballinhell said...

My husband believe he had sleep apnea, when in truth, I used to hold his nose and mouth shut simultaneously to stop his snoring. He'd stop breathing, sputter, panic, and roll over. It usually took him long enough to start snoring again that I could get some sleep.

No, this really has nothing to do with the fact that I'm divorced, although he might be sleeping a little better.

3:17 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

How *DARE* he be asleep while you are tossing and turning and trying not to have nightmares?! I just *HATE* it when my dear husband does that. And having said that ... I generally do as you did -- contemplate justifiable homicide and end up sleeping somewhere else.

Lots of prayers being said for you, Amie.

3:51 PM  
Blogger erica said...

Nightmares are not a good thing. And bland food can be a waking nightmare.

The snoring thing with my husband is usually resolved with me telling him to turn over and pulling him close to me.

I've tried to wake him up when I have a nightmare but I usually get a response and think he's listening. Then a few minutes later he's said something completely odd and I realize he's talking in his sleep. I usually get to laughing so hard that I am feeling better and can sleep.

I hope that scheduling the surgery will help with some of the anxiety. Lots of healing vibes are being sent your way.

4:44 PM  
Blogger Sue said...

Ah, the almost-snore-breathing. Hate it. If I don't fall asleep before my husband, I often end up sleeping on the couch.

Hang in there and don't worry too much about the surgery. (Right, easy for me to say...) We're all here for you.

5:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do.
Kitty Amnesty (or Doggie Amnesty for Mr. Oscar) is a beautiful thing!
Sending you tho'ts of calm sleep, sweets.

5:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I recommend some sort of white-noise type machine to drown out the funny breathing/snoring. I have one of those sad little space heaters that overheats in about 3 minutes if you actually have it turned up high enough to emit any heat, but if you turn it to its lowest setting it just makes a nice little whirring sound. I can't sleep without it anymore.

6:53 PM  
Blogger vi said...

snail sex????
little bundles of snail joy?
don't kill the husband won't look good in an orange jumpsuit.....
and you may NOT want a girlfriend named bubba....
but I understand that you do get free room an board.....
AND FREE medical care!
ok so maybe think about killing the husband as a retirement option?????
I have been under the knife a few times.....
yes it is scary....
( I woke up once on the table and clocked the doc in the head.....oye)
however you will be fine.......
I am telling you
( I HAFF SPOKEN..........)
after all you got new tarots coming.....
and nothing bad happens when you got new tarot to explore you know.....

9:21 PM  
Blogger David said...

GB (may I call you that?), you ought to be ashamed of yourself. No one on OUR side of the family snores.....

10:29 PM  
Blogger dragon knitter said...

hang in there hon, we're rooting for ya. would you like me to research some less bland stuff for ya to fix? i know cooking can be a pain, but hey. and did you know canning/pickling salt doesn't have iodine? you could use that (and use the rest on your sidewalk this winter, i think it only comes in 2 lb bags, lol) now laugh, dang it, i'm trying ot cheer you up!

12:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just found your blog through purlewe. I'm the other chick she is riding for. I'm so sorry to hear you have joined the horrible club. My thoughts are with you.
Know this.... doctors do not take the word "cure" lightly. They seem to be saying you'll likely be cured after one treatment maybe two. This is huge big good news in a sea of bad news.
Surgery is frightening. I was terrified and mine was before anyone even suspected I had cancer. The good news is that the doctors have to do all of the work, you are asleep. It is no fun but they give you lots of pain meds. Try not to panic, take lots of deep breaths. You will be fine. You've gone through the worst part already -diagnosis.
Take care.

8:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

David, I beg to differ


10:42 AM  
Blogger --Deb said...

At least bread-baking can be fun!

11:36 AM  

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