Sunday, September 25, 2005


Olivia Ruth died last Monday, September 19th. She was four days old. The African Violets that were supposed to be favors at her Mommy's baby shower were instead decorations at their double funeral.
I made it up to Boston Tuesday night. Through serendipity (if there is any in a situation like this) I ended up staying in the same hotel as Kyle, and a few other friends. We stayed up until about 3:30 am, drinking a LOT, talking, laughing, crying, being together. Wednesday morning there was a Catholic mass. It was very much for Sharon's mom, and not at all about who Sharon was, or the relationship she had with God. At the "passing of the peace" I hugged a friend and whispered "This isn't her. This isn't what she'd want" and she agreed. After communion, the reverand took a solid gulp of the remaining sacramental wine and she leaned over and said "did the priest just chug the wine? Now THAT is what Sharon would have wanted."

The procession from the church to the cemetary was nearly two miles long. At the grave site, the funeral director passed around roses for family and close friends to put on the casket. When he handed the roses to Kyle, some of the baby's breath fell to the ground. The director apologized profusely, and Kyle said "it's okay, you should have seen the way she kept house." The mourners chuckled, I put my rose on her casket, and it suddenly was undeniable anymore.

After the reception, I was dropped off at the train station to head home. But I didn't go home. My benevolant benefactor lives not far from there, and if ever there was a time to spend some time hugging someone you don't get to see often enough, I thought this would be it. Sharon would have understood that. So I spent the night with a dear friend, thinking about another dear friend that I would never see again.

I hope they both know how very very much I love and cherish them.

I'm trying to recover from losing her. It's going to be a while.

Oh, and some last thoughts on how rotten radio is?

Friday morning, less than 16 hours after Sharon's death, her job opening was listed. It took them five days to put a tribute up on the website, which consisted of a photo, her life dates, and "please pray for Sharon and her family" and they took that down after 48 hours. But the search to replace her began before her body was cold.



Blogger dragon knitter said...

i don't know what to say. i'm thinking of you, and kyle and sharon, and their families. i'm sorry

10:27 PM  
Anonymous knit chick said...

Amie, all I can say is I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you, Kyle and their friends and families.

11:47 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...


There are no words other than you're in my prayers, all of you.

12:01 AM  
Blogger pleutim said...

I am so, so sorry. No one should have to suffer losses like that and definitely not back to back. A beautiful name for what I'm sure was the most beautiful little girl.


12:07 AM  
Anonymous marti said...

amie, words fail me. sharon was lucky to have a friend like you and thank you for sharing such wonderful thoughts and memories.

6:42 AM  
Blogger Carol said...

Amie, my heart is breaking for you and Kyle. I am sure that Sharon knows how much you love her. And that she's around, in another dimension, still loving you.

8:10 AM  
Blogger Teri said...

Amie, I am so, so sorry. My sympathy to you and to Sharon's family.

9:15 AM  
Blogger Lanea said...

This is all just so terribly sad. I hope that you and Kyle will recover, though I know how hard it is to accept a young friend's death. I can't even imagine how terrible it would be to lose a spouse and a child like that.

The ghouls at her station sound truly disgusting.

10:07 AM  
Anonymous Cindy said...

Amie: Again, be kind to yourself. I cannot believe the enormity of this personal tragedy.

10:53 AM  
Blogger Jane said...

Amie, what a good friend you are. Just keep on keeping on, and Sharon's memory will be honored well.

12:18 PM  
Blogger erica said...

Amie, my heart goes out to you and Sharon's family. I've been thinking about you a lot this past week. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Life is so precious and our time here so short. Sharon will be with you forever.

1:31 PM  
Blogger Jensgalore said...

Oh, no. I just felt sick when I read that first sentence. I am so sad to hear that. My heart goes out to you and all those who loved Sharon, especially her husband. :(

1:34 PM  
Blogger Sue said...

I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. I don't know what to say, except that I'm thinking of you and Kyle and the devastating losses of Sharon and Olivia. I'm so sorry.

4:37 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

Oh God. I'm so sorry, Amie. Poor Kyle.

7:17 PM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

I'm so sorry. I had really high hopes for Olivia Ruth.

I'm so sorry you and Kyle have lost these special people.

I've always believed that the love of others lives on inside us, if we allow it. Hopefully, you'll still feel that love inside of you.

7:34 PM  
Blogger --Deb said...

I'm so sorry. I guess her mom just wanted to be with her so badly, she couldn't let her go. I'm just . . . so sorry.

9:46 PM  
Blogger pleutim said...

I know I already commented but I hadn't seen Olivia's picture the last time. (Maybe it wasn't up yet??) She is absolutely perfect. She is every bit as beautiful as her mommy. So many prayers for those left behind.

11:39 PM  
Blogger Teyani said...

what an incredible tragedy -
my heart aches for you and we've never even met.
thank you for sharing your heart and the lives of those you have loved with all of us out in internet land...
your love has made a difference.

12:09 AM  
Blogger Wollsucht said...

I can not believe this....I´m so sorry.....take care,

2:59 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Amie, I don't know what to say that hasn't been said already, but know that I am thinking about you and Sharon's family and friends.

11:45 AM  
Blogger ann said...


what a tragedy this is. I am so sorry.

2:11 PM  
Blogger Nyxxie said...

I am so sorry. I really just don't know what to say! Take care you are in my thoughts.

5:25 PM  
Blogger Teri S. said...

Amie, I know your heart must be breaking and know what you are going through (my best friend was killing in a bicycling accident when she was 16). You've been through so much this year. Know that you remain in my thoughts and my heart.

8:25 PM  
Anonymous JessaLu said...

I can't think of any words to say how sorry I am.

I live in the Pittsfield area and if you email me the name of the station I'd be more than happy to boycott them - and I'll pass the word on to my knitting group (that is, if I can do it without crying - I've sobbed after reading both of these posts - I think my BF thinks I'm officially nuts). Cold and heartless - and awful. I'm so sorry.

11:07 PM  
Blogger Sedie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine the hurt and sadness you and her family feel. I wish you peace and happy memories of your dear friend.

6:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just when I thought that this situation couldn't possibly suck any worse. My heart hurts.


9:51 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Oh God... I am so goes on with or without us in it...and that is so hard to understand. She will always be in your heart.

10:32 PM  

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