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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Listing a resume with Monster.com

Name: Oscar Tobias

Age: 3

Special Skills: No pain sensors allow for much abuse from feline brother, excell at following "bedtime" command. Other strengths are "sit," "dance," and sometimes "down".

Reason for seeking employment: Pay off vet bills from today's check-up so mommy doesn't have to live in a cardboard box.





Oscar got updated on all his vaccinations today. The good news is he's in peak condition, the vet was quite impressed. I suppose we could also count as good news that he didn't bite the vet, who he dispises (and don't tell me dogs are color blind. The vets wear blue scrubs, the vet techs wear pink, and he wagged away at everyone wearing pink and growled at everyone in blue). As usual, I had to put a muzzle on him (he flings himself wildly at anyone who tries to get between me and him) and as usual, I was grateful for my experience working with horses. Muzzling him is quite similar to putting a halter on a really slippery, small horse. When the vet lifted him on the table she said "well, he's obviously just putting on a show, because he's clearly strong enough that if he really wanted to fight us, I wouldn't be able to stop him.

Then he got all his shots, and even took the gross one up the nose with less arguement than the most dogs, so I'm told (it must not taste bad, because that's the only one he didn't growl through, though choking on medicine might have had something to do with that).

As soon as he was done and the muzzle came off, he was all smiles again, and gave the vet a big kiss, and even took a treat from her (which he promptly spit on the floor, treat snob that he is). He even let her look at his teeth (okay, it was from a distance and I had to lift his lips, but still) They went over the results of the exam, which were all extremely positive - he really is in excellent condition. The big metal table is the height of an average counter and most of the time when I touched it, Oscar would stand on his hind legs and put his front feet up on the table so he could see what was going on. When we got the results, I touched the table and all of a sudden Mr. Muscle-Dog leapt up on the table in one swell foop. He was so proud, and I was rather impressed myself, mostly that there's still enough radio-self-editing instinct left in me that I didn't shout HOLY F*CKING HELL but only "holy cow!"

Then we got the bill, and that's when it was determined.

Oscar needs a job.

Thank God he's not sick.

18 Comments:

Anonymous Amy said...

I'd love to employ Oscar, but I'm having enough trouble finding work for my elderly, epileptic, liver-diseased, brain-damaged, arthritic dog Teddy who, fortunately for him, is so lovable that we keep gritting our teeth and dealing with the vet bills...

4:53 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

He has a job -- Mommy-Protector. He might have time for a part-time gig as a baby-blanket sorter, though ("Pink goes there, blue goes...Wait! Oscar! Let go of that blue blanket!"). Or maybe not.

5:25 PM  
Blogger Martha said...

Hon,
Love the photo of Oscar (definitely an old soul) & Jackie (definitely a young soul).
Natalie & Jeremy have heard, many times, "How 'bout a job? Maybe a kitty calendar? OK, at least learn to run the vacuum."
So far, it's not a happening thing for them.
Let us know of any success you have w/the Big O.
XOXO

7:22 PM  
Blogger dragon knitter said...

have you heard of pet insurance? i hear it will cover just about ANYTHING and would be cheaper to pay the premiums than to have to wing it if , god forbid, anybody got sick. just a thought.

and yeah, dogs love to show off

10:03 PM  
Blogger dragon knitter said...

acomment in response to your comment, lol. i'm eagerly awaiting seeing what it does spun up. i may not knit it, i'm actually contemplating selling it on etsy (i'm retiring in the fall after mark & i are married, and doing fiber full time).

i'm sorry you're going to miss out on your vacation, that sucks! we had to postpone the honeymoon because my irs bill was frightening.

10:12 PM  
Anonymous PuppyMomma said...

Gotta tell you, even with pet insurance for Conan, he's still one expensive bugger. And now with his brother....well, I may just end up in that cardboard box you speak of. Like I told you, I'm thinking of taking up a collection.

Tell Oscar to find a job with benefits!

10:35 PM  
Blogger krisknits2 said...

Glad that your dog is fine.

Just wanted to report the first of a pair of Jaywalkers is done and the other should be shortly.

10:47 PM  
Blogger Amy Boogie said...

Vet bills stink but I'm glad Mr. Big and Tough is doing well. So that flinging thing is fun isn't it? My girls would give him a working over... not quite the same as a job though, huh?

9:17 AM  
Blogger Genia said...

HEY AMIE!!!! Very nice article on the B'more shops! Wish I coulda been at A Good Yarn to greet you but well, let's not go into that one.

Glad the Big O is healthy. And by the way, biting the vet doesn't add 0's to the bill.

9:40 AM  
Blogger Genia said...

Sorry, for those of you wondering what that crazy person is speaking of Amie wrote a bit for Knitter's Review. You can check it out here:

http://www.knittersreview.com/article_yarn_shop.asp?article=/review/profile/060427_a.asp

9:49 AM  
Blogger Amie said...

"biting the vet doesn't add 0's to the bill."

How do you know??


Genia -- did you bite the vet????

:D

9:53 AM  
Blogger Mama -E said...

love the article!

9:55 AM  
Blogger Cheri said...

Your pit is so beautiful. I love that he is scared of thunder because so is mine!! She also hates rain, salt water, waves, and the broom!

10:19 AM  
Blogger Laliäna :) said...

Silly—just teach Oscar to knit! He'll be hauling in the big bucks!

Love,
Laura :)

10:35 AM  
Blogger CarolineF said...

Nice article in Knitters Review. I've saved a link to it, so that if someone asks me about yarn shops in Baltimore I have a place to point them.

11:34 AM  
Blogger Lolly said...

Yikes! That reminds me that I have to take my pups into the vet next month. I think my cats are due for shots too... one big bill, that is for sure!

Oscar is a cutie!

1:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Aunt Amie -
We love Oscar and we think that he would be a good mascot at Camden Yards! Some one can walk him out to the batters plate and when some one famous throws tha ball, Oscar can catch it! The whole crowd will roar "YAY OSCAR", not only will he make a gazillion dollars but he will be on the megatron and become famous, Then he will be in movies like Rin Tin Tin or Lassie. Or he can sniff out crime on some murder mystery on TV.

We love you cousin Oscar!
Emma and Gracie, and our mom.
in PA

9:02 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

Oh, Oscar at the vet reminds me of the old Baileydog - a Golden, an notoriously wussy breed. If the vet restrained him while I was in the room he growled. He had to be free to protect me. They could take him in the back and do anything they had to, but he had to be away from me. The vet explained that to me and just removed him from me whenever they had to do anything that involved holding him, and he was a total gentleman. You might want to try that if the muzzle is a big deal, if it's not, never mind!

9:15 PM  

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